Sunday, May 20, 2012

Instead

I've pleaded for smiles for hours on her door
And all that I got were barbs instead.


Left without soles, on high-noon of hate
I 'd hoped for life-giving shade in her strands
But tied to a stump was withered instead.


I've confessed my sins and mended my ways
But even as I pined for redemption of faith
Smitten with wrath was damned instead.

Pleaders are fools, they better be now dead,
Reborn I would rather be a robot instead.


23 comments:

kaykuala said...

That's the way of the world and I totally agree, Abin! The more you submit and plead the harder it'll be. As rightly said, you'll be 'roasted' in the process. Just go our own way without bother, that's a better choice! Great thoughts!

Hank

Jack said...

Wow.

I relate to this. Well done, once again.

Mama Zen said...

Cool write!

Matthew John Davies said...

A wonderfully phlegmatic plea, in my interpretation. Chase her down.

Really cool poem, Abin.

Mary said...

Sounds like a rough time, Abin! Hope it all works out in time. (Sometimes that's what it takes.)

Grace said...

The last couplet is a killer close ~ Enjoyed this Abin ~

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Yoiks, should we do another interview about this? hee hee. Just kidding, this is a great write, as always.

I heard on CBC Radio the other day that there will be a robot WRITING STORIES within five years and they expect it to win a Pulitzer Prize in twenty!

Give me a break!!!! True story!

Fred Rutherford said...

Rather be a robot instead, great ending. I love the way these lines are composed, strong lines, with enough pause to let the words and ideas to sink in. Really good write. thanks for the read.

Daydreamertoo said...

Sometimes it is so much better to simply let go. There is pain either way but, the degradation of trying to hold onto someone who doesn't want it it is the killer.
Deeply thoughtful, painful, write.

Fireblossom said...

Oh but robots never get the girl. They're lousy kissers.

Kerry O'Connor said...

Barbs instead of smiles... painful! sometimes things cut too deep to be forgiven.

Great use of selective repetition here, Abin.

Hannah said...

Left without soles, on high-noon of hate
I 'd hoped for life-giving shade in her strands
But tied to a stump was withered instead.


Really enjoy the visual of this stanza!

Laura Maria said...

Gripping piece!!

Laurie Kolp said...

So much emotion, Abin. I do hope everything's okay. I've missed you.

Laura said...

"Left without soles, on high-noon of hate
I 'd hoped for life-giving shade in her strands"...love the way you've woven these words!

Susie Clevenger said...

I'd rather be a robot instead...I have felt that way at times....great write!!

Herotomost said...

Sometimes the world has a way of reducing us to just that, sometimes its seems that we have no problem reducing ourselves to that fate. This is a great selection on perception and not being able to see the big picture. At least thats what I got out of it....it may not be exactly right, but it got me thinking in that direction. Great stuff.

Carrie Burtt said...

Love this! Truly spoken....and the last line made me smile! :-)

Kim Nelson said...

I understand, Abin! This piece nicely introduces the notion of accepting, finding one's own space, one's own peace. Well done.

Mystic_Mom said...

Wow...well written love those closing lines!

shawnacy said...

sounds like you'd be better off knocking at a more obliging door. they're not all barbed.

the wild magnolia said...

Chilling finish.

good writing.

good job.

Aravind R Sankar said...

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In all the posts...
Am a fan!

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