Friday, September 21, 2012

So Long as I Breathe...


Your eyes were a garden of spices my dear,
Your smiles full of unwavering dare;
And those your locks that'll rustle and ensnare
Have left their indellible foot prints on mind
So long as I breathe and care.

The way your fingers bid farewell that night,
The way your shadows had fled from my sight
Which vainly had hoped for one backward glance
Have left their unpardoned scars in my heart
So long as I breathe and bear.

Your dances in the rain or raging in vain
Your naughty little tricks
That rippled through my veins
With prayers will I enshrine my dear
So long as I breathe and care.

Your unfulfilled vows that torment my skull
With insatiate flames and ashes along valves,
And your unsparing wishes have unfurled
Serpents of hate that'll writhe through my heart
So long as I breathe and bear.

Jostling with spectres of bipolar mind
I leave my state to words that I rear
And refuge in shrines of ties that bind.

[The poem is inspired by the beautiful Hindi poem written by Aditya Chopra for Jab Tak Hai Jaan which has been translated into English by the one and only Shah Rukh Khan. My take is a tribute to the beauty of the Hindi original. See SRK's own translation here:
https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-QO_ngT7TRSw/UFvw8tj0-iI/AAAAAAAAH_M/ipxausMaJms/s600/A3Sk6QPCcAAyDgV.jpg ]

21 comments:

Jack said...

That pain becoming meshed with being...so long as I breathe and care is like saying "forever."

"Your unfulfilled vows that torment my skull
With insatiate flames and ashes along valves"

and

"Jostling with spectres of bipolar mind"

are incredible lines.

Green Speck said...

A really good translation ... i have seen the promo this one suits just perfectly :-)

sayan said...

brilliant..one of your best brother..one of your best...but i thought the original was written by gulzar..i guess that pays testimony to how good adi chopra has worked his magic...

Kerry O'Connor said...

As I began to read this, I was immediately put in mind of the best of Asian poetics, or Song of Songs. It has that ancient passion and charm, without ever losing the masculinity of the voice.

Poet Laundry said...

I especially love:

"Your eyes were a garden of spices my dear,"

...a wonderful opening which drew me right in.

Dennis Go said...

This is truly intense. Awesome.

Daydreamertoo said...

Oh this has fire, passion, desire and... pain.
Lovely.

Mary said...

Abin, this is truly impressive!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

I loved the opening, and felt the increasing pain.........wonderful work, Abin!

Kim Nelson said...

The love, the respect, desire and appreciation are palpable in this piece, Abin. Brilliant. Lovely.

kaykuala said...

It's a beauty of torments and hopes. Nicely Abin!

Hank

aprille said...

Hi Abin,
This is what internet poems are all about: connecting us to cultural art which we might never come across by ourselves. I love this translation even though I have no grasp of the original.
Translating poetry is very difficult, harder than writing your own work. You did so well.

sreeja harikrishnan said...

Really beautiful...

Herotomost said...


What a wonderful rhythm and flow, a feeling of fullness and fate and a touch of despair. This kind of feeling is the one that makes my head crazy with voices and self doubt...it is real. Great job.

Rashmi said...

Beautiful poem...
Translated without loosing the intensity and depth.

Serena said...

The way your fingers bid farewell that night,
The way your shadows had fled from my sight
Which vainly had hoped for one backward glance
Have left their unpardoned scars in my heart
So long as I breathe and bear.

Such beautiful words...

Heaven said...

This is beautiful Abin ~ My heart sighed ~

Susie Clevenger said...

Your eyes were a garden of spices my dear....a beautiful beginning to the pain that follows. A wonderful piece!

Mary Mansfield said...

Just gorgeous!

Matthew John Davies said...

I can hardly comment.

Immense. Fills my flesh and current environment entirely.

Thank you.

Ella said...

Brilliant Abin!
I love this line:

"Jostling with the spectres of bipolar mind"