Friday, September 28, 2012

Muddled Mimes

I scribble through my contacts
And dribble for a call
As hours and minutes keep oozing along walls
With trails that are as straight as tracks.

Chugging with fumes as in outmoded cars
I rattle and scuttle
With cough, phlegm and spittle
And drown in the puddles
Of plasticised prattle
Where bathe our voracious
Much-lauded cattle
With briefcase and bags great or little.

Here among droning of newsreading bees
I turn to my headphones and quietly now block
Their humming with stereophonic locks.

Battered with cycles of clocks without chimes
I pay my bills late and muddle through my mimes.

[This one's dedicated to Jack...read his poems and you'll see to what extent the poem draws formal inspiration from his practice]

19 comments:

Jack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Green Speck said...

I love the rhythm and the music in your poem ... well done :-)

Jack said...

Wow. You have perfectly captured the fiendish monotony of routine. Routine seemingly planned by the universe. The assonant/consonant build is enviably nice throughout, and the second verse rhymes are like a rebellious will to attack. It is clever that by the end, narrator's motion is not genuine, becomes merely an act for nothing fabulous.

Also, thank you.

(previous comment removed, needed clarification)

Mary said...

Wonderful, Abin! Smiles! I think you have worked Jack's style nicely. I don't know that I could imitate anyone's style.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Ah yes, flashes of the Morning Commute! So well done, Abin.

Kim Nelson said...

How incredibly uncomfortable you made me with this one! Mission accomplished! And it flows with ease and clarity, too.

Laura Maria said...

Your words carry the point perfectly and the closing line concludes this piece very well.

Jinksy said...

And drown in the puddles
Of plasticised prattle

Alliteration with 'oomph'! :)

flipside records said...

I LOVE your first three lines. Great sound!

Kerry O'Connor said...

I admire what you did with your sounds in this poem, Abin. The rhymes, alliteration, assonance all serve to bring the scene to life.
Well done!

Susie Clevenger said...

The tedium of a morning commute...you have captured it so precisely..love "droning of newsreading bees"

Panchali said...

Abin...To maintain a consistent meter, a poet has to choose words that fit. And I see a brilliant play of words and rhythm here!:)
I am loving it!

Laura said...

and so it goes for so many, day in, evening out...you've captured the feeling of commuting so well.

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

Beautiful use of alliteration--this just sings

Herotomost said...

This one makes me anxious and filled with morning routine blues. Hits fast and has great rhythym that keeps me a bit off kilter, kind of like you would fell in the hustle and bustle. Great Job.

Heaven said...

The sounds are vibrant here...chugging, scribbling and humming ~ Hope your morning is not as rushed as this one ~

Kay L. Davies said...

A most admirable use of words, Abin. I love it.
K

Rick.Daddario said...

aloha Abin. I like the ease and flow your words follow as I read. it feels natural to the way I'd speak yet clearly you do a lot with internal an external rhyme and sound. as the overall sense sinks in - wow. aloha.

chips from a life said...

ahh sounds familiar.
well captured and highlighted.