Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Unspelt Desires Dance

My unspelt desires dance
Beyond the fence of do's and don'ts
And tease my strings of
Perfect masks
To loose and flap
In monsoon breeze
To feel the rain on open lips
And drench anew my arid words
That long to break in glowing flames
And kindle what my hands  have not
Wrought so far in black and white.

Sings to moon the moistened grass
And rattles all my window-bars.

17 comments:

Robert said...

I hope you do not mean what you say.You seem to say that your words were yearning to break into a glowing flame and then comes the beautiful rain and drowns your words "anew".A wrong juxtaposition of effects.Do complete the concept of rain in the first stanza then start a second one and develop the flame concept.Addition of some more lines necessary for that purpose.Correct the 10th line -- hands my.Such a beautiful lyrical poem demands perfection.
This poem is very picturesque and the imageries are awesome.

Abin Chakraborty said...

as you know, I generally incorporate your valued suggestions.but this time would be an exception.first of all, you have got the sequence wrong.the rain comes to enable the words to break into flames, metaphorically.rather than seeing fire and rain as antithetical concepts I am trying to present both as complementary vitalising principles moving towards an alchemic unified sensibility.hopefully the next one would be more to your liking...

Robert said...

Not being able to grasp the intended asymmetrical unity does not necessarily mean I did not like the poem.I did like it but ofcourse if "the next one" is your promise for another such poem soon,I cant wait ...

Robert said...

Poems are a poet's babies.Now that I know the parents,I will know the babies better.(just like u know fanny brawne and keats to appreciate keats's babies better; or charles lamb for that matter) You will not have a chance anymore to complain that I misread your poems.Now I will be miss-reading them ;) Sounding impossible,am I?Meet Robert ;) :D

Robert said...

By the way, ahem, i have a confession. i actually intentionally misread this poem initially, just to get on your nerves, checking on you simply to see how u r as a person, etc :) :P :)

Jack said...

dance/fence/dont's

Great use of consonance.

Also, the concept of a defeated voice (arid words) becoming rejuvenated by moisture to then speak fire is quite a fantastic concept.

Poet Laundry said...

Beautifully written.

And tease my strings of
Perfect masks
To loose and flap

...is my favorite part.

Kerry O'Connor said...

I love the idea of desires being unspelt - a feeling to defy words. You have a remarkable way of linking the elements of your world to the emotions within, here with the rain quenching the fire within. The last lines are epigrammatic - beautiful a perfect in and of themselves.

Gemma Wiseman said...

Love the idea of "perfect masks". Fire and rain, like yin and yang, co-exist. Beautiful visuals in this!

Mary said...

Abin, I love the depth of this intricately written poem.

Heaven said...

I like the sensual and nature dance in your words. Specially these lines:

To feel the rain on open lips
And drench anew my arid words

Gordon Gearhart said...

I really really love the use of imagery in your piece.

Keep on setting fire to the rain (to reference Adele)) and have your words for all to see.

Really enjoy reading this poem :)

PhotoDiction said...

I like your imagery here, and the way it pulls at you to deliver those important words.

Cad said...

Unlike the Robert who commented above, I have no difficulty in understanding that rain on lips would would revive you,to allow words of flame to issue forth and be wrought into written words by your hands! Lovely ideas...

Serena said...

I love how this poem begins and "To feel the rain on open lips
And drench anew my arid words" is my favorite...

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

I love the imagery here--it dances and pulls at the reader --lovely!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Your poem has beauty and depth and your last two lines are stellar. Loved this, Abin!!!!!