Sunday, July 1, 2012

Beginning


Sprouting new leaves now peep through the brown
Even as streaks of gold colour clouds.

Somewhere in the alley a child still cries.

A young boy boards the train for new job.


16 comments:

Mary said...

The contrast between the third and fourth like IS striking.

(I made a grammatical error in my first comment; so I removed it. Sorry.)

Kerry O'Connor said...

I do like it Abin - a striking portrait both visual and emotive.
And you know that prodigals are always welcomed with open arms ;)

Ella said...

Well Done! I love how you took us elsewhere...I need to do mine over..!
Wow~

Heaven said...

I like the images of new beginnings ~ Great form ~

Gemma Wiseman said...

An enigmatic, sad beauty in this poem!

ashok said...

wow! well written Abin

Hannah said...

I like how your nature lines tie to your last two lines...so much more is stated by pairing these all together. Multi-layered goodness. :)

Peggy said...

I read this a few times and each time it grew stronger and the sense of the whole of it came through. Thank you!

Sherry Blue Sky said...

This has the hint of inscrutability penchant to Chinese koans - every line perfect! Loved it.

Karishma Shetty said...

'Gold colour clouds' juxtaposed with the young boy's 'new job.' Aah! What a lovely note of optimism there! :)

Mary Mansfield said...

I love the sense of balance created by the sadness of that third line when compared to the sense of optimism and renewal of the other lines. Very well written!

Daydreamertoo said...

Very clear imagery.
I hope the young man enjoys his new job. :)

Marian said...

gold clouds. i can see them.

Mama Zen said...

Well done!

Susie Clevenger said...

This is lovely...I like the color you introduced it with...and the contrast between third and fourth lines is powerful.

PhotoDiction said...

I like the structure here - and the powerful message the short verse delivers.