where dreams may cross,without wavering between profit and loss
The contrast between the third and fourth like IS striking.(I made a grammatical error in my first comment; so I removed it. Sorry.)
I do like it Abin - a striking portrait both visual and emotive.And you know that prodigals are always welcomed with open arms ;)
Well Done! I love how you took us elsewhere...I need to do mine over..!Wow~
I like the images of new beginnings ~ Great form ~
An enigmatic, sad beauty in this poem!
wow! well written Abin
I like how your nature lines tie to your last two lines...so much more is stated by pairing these all together. Multi-layered goodness. :)
I read this a few times and each time it grew stronger and the sense of the whole of it came through. Thank you!
This has the hint of inscrutability penchant to Chinese koans - every line perfect! Loved it.
'Gold colour clouds' juxtaposed with the young boy's 'new job.' Aah! What a lovely note of optimism there! :)
I love the sense of balance created by the sadness of that third line when compared to the sense of optimism and renewal of the other lines. Very well written!
Very clear imagery. I hope the young man enjoys his new job. :)
gold clouds. i can see them.
Well done!
This is lovely...I like the color you introduced it with...and the contrast between third and fourth lines is powerful.
I like the structure here - and the powerful message the short verse delivers.
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16 comments:
The contrast between the third and fourth like IS striking.
(I made a grammatical error in my first comment; so I removed it. Sorry.)
I do like it Abin - a striking portrait both visual and emotive.
And you know that prodigals are always welcomed with open arms ;)
Well Done! I love how you took us elsewhere...I need to do mine over..!
Wow~
I like the images of new beginnings ~ Great form ~
An enigmatic, sad beauty in this poem!
wow! well written Abin
I like how your nature lines tie to your last two lines...so much more is stated by pairing these all together. Multi-layered goodness. :)
I read this a few times and each time it grew stronger and the sense of the whole of it came through. Thank you!
This has the hint of inscrutability penchant to Chinese koans - every line perfect! Loved it.
'Gold colour clouds' juxtaposed with the young boy's 'new job.' Aah! What a lovely note of optimism there! :)
I love the sense of balance created by the sadness of that third line when compared to the sense of optimism and renewal of the other lines. Very well written!
Very clear imagery.
I hope the young man enjoys his new job. :)
gold clouds. i can see them.
Well done!
This is lovely...I like the color you introduced it with...and the contrast between third and fourth lines is powerful.
I like the structure here - and the powerful message the short verse delivers.
Post a Comment