where dreams may cross,without wavering between profit and loss
Still sureness of rage and motion and repetition.Economical but potent.
I like the poetry form ~ That last line was powerful, a gathering of greater storms.Happy day to you Abin ~
You pulled us in, gently led us out, following theme and form. So brief. So powerful.
And thanks for the lovely response to my post ~
No word out of place here, and what an image of the kohl-stained clouds weeping tears - I must admit I wish I had thought of it first!
nice - clouds (like life) always do, don't they, gather for greater storms if left unspent
I am keeping my eye on those "clouds unspent."There's something both ominous and tender about this poem. I like both elements.
Woww this is so good....the last line is the most....
Wow, succinct and powerful. Loved both images, clouds and woman. Fantastic closing line.
Sad about the woman drying her cheeks. Leaves me wondering why she was crying. Very lovely imagery.
This is excellent--the image of outer and interior clouds and storms couldn't be more deftly aligned, no frills, all meaning.
love it. i forget already what a koan is. *runs to look it up*
"Clouds unspent will gather greater storms." ... There is a lot of wisdom in this. We try to hold it all sometimes, and then we explode in a rage. This is very good.
One of those writes that makes me project when and where those clouds will end up giving life or what will be destroyed in the fury of a long overdue storm. Sweet short punch to the solar plexus and a platform for thunderous thoughts and the anxiety of waiting for just one drop.
The last line is powerful.It foretells of impending problems if not addressed in time. Great thoughts Abin!Hank
A striking piece. You say much in few words.
Round this way, all clouds have been spendthrifts lately - if you see what I mean!
Post a Comment