Sunday, November 24, 2013

Vacation Blues

Here in the company of poplars and pines,
Where ever-roaming clouds do slide through your bars
Even as butterflies ballet among leaves
And leave me all dazed with splendours of sense
That still would all glitter and shimmer without end,
At night as I fixate on  light-dotted vales
Which glimmer as if diamonds are splattered on your screen
Bright beyond all that is known, done and seen.

In the next room, I hear my dad cough;
And all the stars dim their lights.

20 comments:

howanxious said...

I liked the direct imagery and the way you ended it. A finely written piece. :-)
-HA

J Cosmo Newbery said...

A powerful ending.

kelvin s.m. said...

...the ending note has so much to tell that you rather left in silence.... a heavy one to read... smiles...

Gabriella said...

I enjoyed the imagery in the first stanza, the clouds and the butterflies. Your closing lines bring us back to reality and powerfully evoke how the pain of one can alter our perception of the world around us.

Mary said...

I enjoyed the imagery in this poem, Abin. The 'ever-roaming clouds" and the 'butterflies ballet among leaves.' The first stanza offers a very peaceful scene; but the short second stanza kind of interrupts the peace with that cough......and the scene fades away and leaves me with questions! I always enjoy your words, Abin! (And as for your comment on my poem, yes I am fine...and plan to be writing poetry a LONG time. Smiles.)

Brian Miller said...

very subtle poem....love the focus on detail in the opening, which disarms the reader---then the bringing the ailing father in and how his cough changes everything, even dimming the stars....

NataĊĦa Dolenc said...

i like the images as well, and that sad notion, a bit of fear in the end.

Anand S Unni said...

As everyone pointed out, you captured a lot of thoughts and emotions through your words in the ending. Nice work.

Sherri B. said...

Those last two lines pack a powerful punch...wonderful writing!

Kerry O'Connor said...

Interesting how the human factor brings one back from pensive musings.

Lisa A. Williams said...

A lot of emotion in these lines, especially hearing your "dad cough in the next room". A very well written poem.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Oh Abin, so beautiful! First the beauty of nature and then the pain of hearing your father cough which brings us back to "intimations of mortality" and the pang in the heart the narrator -and the reader- experiences.

Sumana Roy said...

a wonderfully close-knit realm of imagination and returning to reality..... :)

Kathryn said...

Great imagery and such a powerful ending. The snap back to reality.

Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger said...

So very beautiful Abin, your painting of the scene and the emotion--subtle and beautifully done--

Robert Bourne said...

the ending really made it... wonderful write...

Loredana Donovan said...

Lovely poem with an intriguing ending :)

R.K. Garon said...

well done.
ZQ

Susan said...

We sail into glories, but keep our anchors which have their own blessings. I am moved.

sayan said...

those final lines..take the poem somewhere where maybe it was not destined to go...the tour de force at the end was something brilliant...