Here among columns of unseasonal rain
That hurtle through fields beneath kohl-stained clouds,
I've whispered our tales to leaves that are drenched
With moisture of tears unaddressed.
Plots that had seemed full of solace and shades
Have wound into debris of sharp, sullen rocks
That leave our soles black and red.
Back in the twilight of chrysanthemum days
With blossoms that had showered
And covered our ways,
Our eyes never measured these uncertain times
Where hyenas and foxes now hold their sway
With instincts of jungles as law.
Borne along waves full of dream-laden pearls,
We are stranded and lost amid seedless old rocks
That scorch our soles black and red.
17 comments:
yes, i have felt this desolation
good write, my friend
souls scorched black and red . . . love it.
a really well written poem, it flow well, and i could hear it. love the imagery.
I've whispered our tales to leaves...
Now there's a line I wish I had written. This is a wonderful moody piece, Abin.
Desolation is indeed difficult to endure.
I am most struck by "Back in the twilight of chrysanthemum days
With blossoms that had showered
And covered our ways,
Our eyes never measured these uncertain times
Where hyenas and foxes now hold their sway". A wonderful write.
mmmm. quite a lot of intensity generated here - especially liked: "I've whispered our tales to leaves that are drenched
With moisture of tears unaddressed..." Very nice With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.co
kohl-stained clouds always remind me of tearful eyes.....i specially like the contrasting imagery.... wonderfully crafted...
Very emotive writing.
Really good imagery with a nice flow. I certainly liked the way you interpreted desolation in your words.
-HA
How beautifully you drew the contrast, giving what is first, then what was and how the narrators might have noticed. Surprise is a factor, but the desolation feels super real.
Very powerful and moving.
"kohl-stained clouds" love that..such a beautiful piece even with its melancholy
you paint a picture with your words...
spoken aloud, it carries pace and rhythm ~
yes, i just love how it sounds, how it comes out rollicking toward the finish. very nice, Abin!
Kohl/coal and sole/soul...fantastic.
Also, tears drenching lead to blossoms showering. Emotional imagery built with logical planning, always a pleasure to read.
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