Beyond the frenzied crowds that cheer
I hear the rustling restless ghosts
Who pace my darkened rooms and muse
What their corpses meant for those
Who on streets now dance and sing.
One by one those wounded heads
Rise from streams of blood and call:
"Where's the price of martyr's blood?
How much long the sanguine trail
From our huts to thrones of blood?"
Dazed in scenes of mindless joy,
Mine is only helpless loss.
Down below in perfect sun,
Feasting ants and maggots run
Nibbling on some trampled flesh
Fanned awhile in gentle breeze.
6 comments:
In the last stanza,the middle two lines should be edited and reshaped.I get the idea but they do not sound well put,just remould the thing.And maggots dont eat cockroaches.
does it help if u read the word 'on' in the second line as a verb signifying continuity and not as a preposition?
I did read it that way. Now please consider two words -- flesh instead of mess and out instead of on in the 3rd line. You wanted to give it a stark effect,didnt you? Maybe these two words can help.
I can always add flesh instead of mess.but out doesn't seem to fit.lets see if I can think of something else.
finally!!! now it reads good. im happy with it. well done
thank u very much :)
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