My house full of reeds on pastures of sand
Is shaken to its strings by the punches of winds
That'll leave no stones unturned.
Even as I rage against tremors on land
Or curse our skies with bootless old cries
The tiles on my roof will shiver and slip
Seeing as the clouds have gathered their hails
That'll shatter our statues of brass.
There in the canopy of soot-smeared roars,
Are waiting in wings all lightnings in store
That'll start rather soon their fire-breathing dance
And leave all my tenements in charcoals and ash.
Singing in vain my lyrics full of hope
That had weaved their notes with particoloured strands
I walk to the waves now seething in hate
And brace for a crash that is come.
20 comments:
Fantastic rhymes tucked in the verse. As always, enviable word choice and potent, expert tone.
I love the notion of singing in vain. Because what else could be more valid when doom is coming?
Such a beautiful song ... my mind traveled along with your words !!!
Turmoil and contradictions.......even if I don't catch all the nuance here..I like the way you weave all the words......
the familiar cadence and rhyme..but just a thought...the last line somehow is a tad flat..i mean the crash maybe a tempest..to make you or break you..maybe you are waiting for it to arrive...and ride it to glory..but somehow it doesn't have the thunderclap of that emotion...let it be zeus and descend upon us...:-)
An excellent piece of poetry, an expression of your inner consciousness woven so well...lovely!
Quite lovely rhythm to this.
Very hard to fight those waves seething in hate and the lightning doing its fire-breathing dance. Wonderful wordings in this poem, Abin!
That last two stanzas knocked me out ~ Very good writing Abin ~
Striking piece Abin. It's dark and one can really feel it.
It's good to see you in the Pantry again!
You have taken us, with your words, right to the very lip of the cataclysm. Wonderfully written.
This is such a striking piece--beautifully crafted--and for me, the last stanza is one I can read over and over again---
September forecast not good then? :)
Love this Abin!
Sometimes, bracing for what you know is coming is the only thing left to do.
I love the use of Shakespeare's "bootless cries" in this context. You have captured that sense of divine discontent which is so much a part of the human condition.
wow, love this, so strong and clear. "bootless old cries" is just one phrase that strikes me as unique and compelling. good work!
Amazing Abin! I love so many words and your journey took me on my own~
Powerful and so well done~
beautifully written
The structure, rhyme scheme and message of this piece are well-thought out and skillfully constructed. I like the last line switch of mood. Nicely done.
The house cannot stand in such conditions when all things attack as if it were and they were alive. It's crashing like a house of cards, doomed like a house build on sand--and it is humanity that exposed it's own cradle to doom.
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