There's something to be said, for a girl clad in red.
Suddenly my world full of pedestrian mire
My restless old soul full of uncertain ware
And hardened old pigments on palettes rather stale ---
All of them all - stand blemishless and free
And float through a world of violins and flute
For an orchard of symphony unheard.
And even though I lack a name, place or mail,
Still we are in for a long spell of thrill
As sure I'll have that same little chat
Daily as I wait for a busride at ten
With memories of moments that loop through my gaze
And kindle my dreams all aflame.
So even as I jostle with sweat, mud and grime
Her eyes look and smile and make my heart chime.
24 comments:
Wow ... loved it !!!
Such great, deliberate sound, everything so precise. The musical theme really enhanced the...female moment.
Like always, fantastic read.
Well written my friend. I hear chimes every day. One louder than all.
Abin, this poem really made me smile. Yes, there is something to be said for a girl clad in red. Nothing wrong with looking / nothing wrong with dreaming. Enjoy the moment!
Maybe I should wear red more often ~ Smiles ~ I like the softness of your words here Abin ~
You have a delicate touch with the rhyme here. Interesting layout of the lines, from the single opener to the couplet at the end.
There's just something about red, no?
Is it the red, or that her eyes looked back and smiled?
Beautiful. Loved it! The last couplet was my favourite. :)
Sometimes I have ruminated about these passing joys and have my favorite viewing places. Such a unique poem, a female in red, honoring this pleasure (which could be very personal indeed).
Oh those ladies in red. While men fall off their bikes and off of ladders! Loved it, Abin.
What a terrific blend of the musical, the practical, the temporal. And then that smile at the end. Perfect.
A sweet moment captured in poetry. Very nice.
I loved this Abin, especially the first stanza!
one of your dodgy ones for me...i wanted to know more about the girl in red..and suddenly, here you are, closing all the doors and windows wham on the face of the reader..i thought the end came too abruptly..and the closing couplet somehow lacks the thunderclap or the slamming of the window...it fizzles out somehow...
sorry to disappoint u sayan.but how can i tell u more when i know so little?the context is a brief glimpse of someone at a bus-stand...imagine the rush the crowd and the cacophony.the speaker doesnt have the pleasure of detailed observation.hence he must satisfy himself with the brightness of the dress and the sparkle of the eyes.the end was as abrupt as the bus that came to interrupt the brief chat.I guess u r looking for things i didnt promise.as for the end, the context didnt demand, for me, either a thunderclap or a slam.just a continuation, tinged with loss and pathos.and brother, if you have time from your rather busy schedule, do read the others.may be they will be more to your taste :)
Hi Abin, visiting again today....this time from Imaginary Gardens. I made my main comment earlier, but just have to say I didn't think the poem was at all 'dodgy.' I think you expressed everything necessary to capture the experience. You didn't need to say anything more. Let the reader's mind wander if it wants to...but this poem is beautifully expressed as is! Amen.
lady in red... sweet
oh, i really like the subtle and unpredictable rhymes here. i bet as unpredictable as the red-clad girl.
Well re-reading this again, made me think it wasn't dodgy at all ~ Sometimes the brush of the words, little and sparse, are needed when capturing a fleeting moment ~ Let the reader draw their own conclusions ~
Red is intoxicating..I love the rhyme. It is subtle and not rhymed for rhyme's sake.
Oh so good, so very very good.
Beautiful! Lovely moments.....
Oh the power of RED to create a mood, to stimulate the senses. I love what you have done with that brief glimpse.
Post a Comment