In the stillness of dawn, to sighs I've asked
Their lineage and destiny untold.
Flitting among shelves full of papers and books
They've whispered me tales full of petals now torn
Amid debris of silence that piles along walls
Or cleaves our bedsheets with barbed wire lines
In these our dawns full migraine and cough,
With concern now caught in its bluff.
Foreclosed with too many of dues still unpaid,
We scrape for the ounces of trust that'll loan
Perhaps a few bonds to us still.
Jumbled in fractions of aggregated dross,
We gasp among compounded interests of loss,
As idiots in ponzies of heart.
Spanning over ebbtide of dark deeper night,
Unbroken wings of cranes soar in flight.
14 comments:
nice textures...bedsheets with barbwire....the use of the financial terms in the second...like its a transaction....and the closing couplet is nice bringing it back to the beauty of nature...
Spanning over ebbtide
of dark deeper night,
Unbroken wings of crane
s soar in flight
It's the way of the world, where one may face challenges and able to take flight to overcome. That's how I read it! Nicely Abin!
Hank
Excellent images:
They've whispered me tales full of petals now torn
Amid debris of silence that piles along walls...
This leads in so well to the barbed wire line. The entire poem is executed with flair and a real ear for language.
Good one....
I love the way the cranes lift us up, after the lines of earthbound worries. Wonderful!
An interesting metaphor for relationship with interior rhyme.
Lovely share Abin ~ I find it interesting that you used business terms in the second stanza ~
That ending couplet is my fav part ~
Beautiful! I too loved the build of the textures until they reach barbed wire in bed and compound interest loss. Then the final couplet comes as a surprise with unbroken wings! Do they escape each other? Do they lose all hope of peace that cranes can symbolize?
"We gasp among compounded interests of loss,
As idiots in ponzies of heart." So many clever phrasings in this poem, Abin. Enjoyed the way you used all the financial terms.
The cranes in flight I hope reveal the destiny of our earthly sighs.
Heavy, heavy until the very end - and hope takes wing.
your poetry is achieving a kind of maturity which i think people who read your work regularly would be able to affirm...i hope you are not aware of it...`the moment you are, the child in you might be dead...keep writing brother...
"Amid debris of silence that piles along walls
Or cleaves our bedsheets with barbed wire lines" Great line...powerful imagery. Love your choice of words!
Oh, this is such struggle and revelation and your last line is pure magic!
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