Between us then throbbed,
An aisle full of blank
With templates of questions all set.
But I who had fumbled in stairs without lights,
Lost all my ladders to the bridge.
Haltered with clauses that never reach a close,
I stumble and puzzle amid punctuation marks
And leave all my wonder on stations I've left
And linger with abdicated grace.
Tottering on ledges full of unwelcome moss,
I re-live my dreams amid harbours of dross.
16 comments:
Loved this. The use of imagery and metaphor is brilliant!
I feel the person is drawn to silence, full of questions with no satisfying close ~ Reliving the dreams may be an answer, for now ~
Happy week Abin ~
Love the parallel images here.. the questionnaire and bridge.. I feel a sense of being disconnected.. there are many clever and rhymes to punctuate the message..
I especially love "and leave all my wonder on stations I've left", and "tottering on ledges full of unwelcome moss."
Clever! And yet, this is not dross, as it calls out praise for the writer.
I agree with Enigma...excellent use of metaphor. A felt piece, Abin.
ha..i love this maze of language specially if it's poetry...a fun read :)
You really are a maestro of the words, Abin.
I enjoyed the metaphors...thinking about fumbling on the stars without light and then haltered with closes that never reach a close. Brilliant.
I would not be very comfortable there :-(
Well written! :-)
ZQ
I read this as a failed relationship due to the writers ineptitude. So many of us have been there.
"an aisle full of blank"---superb description.
Yes, I must agree with several of the other commenters. You've really used the fragmentation of language to convey a feeling is being lost and apart. Well done.
i too am tethered by the nebulous veil of hitherto words and punctuations that i have now come to challenge in their traditions
well stated my friend
"...and isle of full blank"
Such a picture of emptiness and dark.
Well done - as stated above - wonderful use of metaphors
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